Saturday at the Hut - 12/26/09

Hey, look at this, two blog postings in a row without missing a week! I arrived this Saturday at The Tobacco Hut around 12:30 and filled the Stanwell freehand that I had gotten from Lou a year or two ago with some Frog Morton and shortly after I lit up, Tom L arrived. Good to see him twice in as many weeks. He gave Lou an Opus X from stock that he had purchased from the store in 1996. Fortunately, he hadn't stored them in his glove compartment and they both enjoyed a perfectly aged and mellowed cigar.

Close to 1:00 Joe K and his entourage came in: his son James K, his brother Jimmy from Tennessee, and his son-in-law Laith from Texas. It didn't take long for James to make fun of my affliction with jokes about being minus a kidney, but no worries - I could take it. I had some ammunition of my own to share with the group, like reminding James about being routinely over the limit on his father's credit card while at college, having to pour vodka in his ear after swimming across a sewage-infested retention pond, and of course - the coup de grâce - James calling his father collect from Mexico after having a cigar stolen from him by a monkey. You just can't make this stuff up.

We were all enjoying our respective smokes when a disheveled, smelly wayfarer appeared at the store's open door. James, apparently overcome with the spirit of the season, welcomed the man in and he (the vagabond) proceeded to stumble and mumble around the store creating a bit of a scene.

Without wanting to appear rude, but still mindful of the group's desires to be free of this miscreant, Joe announced that we all..."played for the other team". Everyone snickered (except Tom, who I don't think appreciated being "outed") but the man didn't seem to mind. Laith had gotten up momentarily and the hobo took the opportunity to plant himself in the now vacant chair. He proceeded to make even more inane comments than James was capable of making and proved himself most irritating.

Finally, when he asked Lou to buy a soda and protested the asking price of $1, Lou finally advised the man to leave. Incredulous, the man exclaimed, "I'm getting kicked out of a smoke shop?!" Yes, Mr. Tramp, you are. And with that, and a few choice words mumbled under his breath, he exited the store. Phew!

We went back to the general frivolity of the day, mostly poking fun at James (there's so much material!) and listening to tall tales from one another.

A little while later the vagrant walked past the shop's open door. He looked in, but we all made a conscious effort just to be quiet. Even when the man yelled in something about the "Homo Hut". Except Joe. Joe just couldn't leave well enough alone. The guy had stepped off the curb, but Joe yelled out, "I love you man!" And that brought Mr. Tramp back in, incredulous again that he had been kicked out of a smoke shop. We assured him that he had, but he could come back tomorrow. We neglected to tell him that the store is closed on Sundays.

You know, something just occurred to me...Lou said that Mike G was in town from Tennessee. I wonder if Mr. Smelly Pants was actually - no, it couldn't be. Never mind.

Happy Holidays everyone!

- Bob

Saturday at the Hut - 12/19/09

Again my humble apologies for taking so long to write a post - even Joe is finding it hard to defend my neglect of the blog. I shall endeavor to be more attentive in the future.

We all had a good laugh at The Tobacco Hut last week, December 12th, when the preacher man, Jim C, discovered that he had a new mission for conversion, namely me. He, Joe, Lou and Peter tried mightily (Joe even offered to take a knee with me) but alas I'm still enjoying the company of fellow nontheists such as Friedrich Nietzsche, Albert Camus, Bertrand Russell, Carl Reiner, George Carlin, Carl Sagan, and Kazimierz Lyszczynski (who was executed in 1689 for his beliefs - or rather, non belief).

This past Saturday I brought a special guest - my son Ryan was in town visiting for his winter break from school. He just finished up his first quarter at Ohio State, getting all A's, and was spending a few days with the family. It didn't take him long to join Lou, Joe, and Peter in taking some shots at the ole' man. He would fit in quite easily with our little Saturday afternoon group, just as Joe's son James did.

We couldn't stay long as we were headed up to Spring Hill to visit my mother who is recovering from a rather long stay in the hospital. She's doing better now and is on the mend.

Some more good news on the medical front, I had my six month scans last week to see if any more cancer has reared its ugly head and everything was clear - yippee! Or, as Joe would say, "Thank ya Jesus!". There was one little spot on the bone scan, but the oncologist said it wasn't cancerous at all, just a little arthritis in my hip. Can't wait to play the arthritis card on Paula now..."Sorry Honey, can't cut the grass, my arthritis is acting up."

Oh, one more thing, I made a grave error regarding the spelling of a certain word when I was building the shop's website. Lou has a pipe tobacco called North Star and it contains nougat flavoring. I spelled it incorrectly ("nuget") and somehow, a year later, Lou noticed it and brought it to my attention a few weeks ago. He asked me then how it was spelled and I replied, "N-U-G-E-T", compounding my error.

This Saturday at the Hut, he brought it to my attention again and Ryan consulted his iPod Touch, verifying that is indeed spelled "N-O-U-G-A-T". Of course, Ryan (and everyone else) had a good laugh over the fact that Mr. English Degree had misspelled a word. Ryan even remarked that he would make sure not to take the same English courses at Ohio State that I did.

Anyway, to Lou and everyone else, I now take this opportunity to down a hefty slice of humble pie and freely admit my mista-, my mis-, my mist-, my mistak-, my...mistake. There, I did it. And I'll now go and correct the website.

Merry Christmas everyone! (yes, the irony of me wishing you a Merry *Christmas* is not lost on me).

Cheers!
- Bob