Sunday, August 23, 2009

Saturday at the Hut - 8/22/09

Compared to last week, this Saturday at The Tobacco Hut was pretty tame. Joe K did present Lou with a bill for $140 as a result of having his car detailed. This came, of course, because Lou let Joe sit in a chair that had been crapped in earlier in the day the week before. Lou ignored the bill and Joe said that that was okay, he probably had lifted more than $140 in cigars the last time he worked at the shop.

At one point a middle-aged couple walked in and while Lou was ringing up the husband's purchases, the wife walked in front of the TV to look at the Zippo lighters. At that moment, Joe was watching the golf game on TV and exclaimed, "Nice putt!" after witnessing a long putt. The woman, not realizing there was a golf game on TV, heard "Nice butt!" and whirled around to look at Joe, who immediately recognized what had happened, turned a little red and explained. All three of us laughed about it as she and her husband left the store and we told Lou what happened. And not to put too fine a point on it, but I think it's been awhile since the woman has heard anyone say "nice butt" to her, so I'm sure she was more flattered than insulted anyway.

Peter arrived, then Barry, and I'm surprised that nary a mention was made of the Yankees beating up on the Red Sox the day before 20-11. Maybe the rivalry between the two teams isn't that important after all.

Barry began to re-tell a story he told to Peter, Lou, and I the week before for the benefit of Joe who wasn't there at the time. Halfway through the story, just as he's building up to the climax, Lou launches into his own story - seemingly unaware that Barry is talking. An awkward moment follows when I point out the obvious to Lou, that - in fact - perhaps we should wait to hear Lou's story when Barry is done with his. Lou pouts a little but acquiesces. Barry does offer to cut his story short, noting that it is Lou's name on the door and ownership of the shop trumps all. Lou reluctantly tells Barry to go ahead with his tale. When Barry is done and we've all had a good laugh over it, Joe asks Lou for the story he was going to tell. Lou tells it, and when he's done, Barry looks at him and says, "Yeah, that was worth the wait." I almost blew the tobacco out of my pipe.

Peter and Barry began discussing the finer points of baseball shortly after Joe left and I helped guide a new customer with a pipe purchase. He's new to pipes - my favorite kind of customer - and Lou and I got him into a nice Peterson, along with some of Lou's premium blended tobaccos.

Steve B arrived and I think Joe left too early for Steve had a number of good computer questions, mainly having to do with workflow, the benefits of an aircard for his laptop, networking, etc. I also did a little proselytizing for Mac. Not sure if it's the solution that makes total sense for Steve, given the existing hardware he already has, but whenever I can spread the Mac gospel...

I enjoyed a Ben Wade pipe that I had gotten from Lou a couple months ago. My bowl of Frog Morton tasted especially nice. I have two Ben Wades and both are solid little pipes, consistently offering a nice smoke.

I won't be around for the next two weeks as my son is visiting from up north before he makes the big leap and heads off to college, but will resume my visits and reporting after that.

Cheers!
- Bob

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Saturday at the Hut - 8/15/09

Today turned out to be a pretty crappy day at The Tobacco Hut. Not in the metaphorical sense, but in the very real sense of the word. Allow me to explain.

When I arrived, Jim C and Joe K were already there, Jim seated to Lou's right in the matching chair that Lou sits in. Joe was to Lou's left in one of the white vinyl chairs. I took a seat in the remaining vinyl chair near the refrigerator.

I lit my pipe, and the other three were all enjoying their cigars, all settling in for a nice afternoon. After a bit Lou relays what happened earlier in the morning when a poor, unfortunate homeless man had walked into the store. Lou has seen him around and he's always been friendly enough. Knowing that money for cigarettes is hard to come by for the man, Lou offers him a pack of cigarettes he had been given as a sample by one of his vendors, and a cup of coffee.

The man sits down in the chair where Joe is now sitting, smokes his cigarette and drinks his coffee. Only after the man leaves does Lou realize that the man shat himself, leaving a sizable brown stain on the chair. Lou looks at Joe who is slowly rising out of his chair, and he reassures him that he cleaned the chair thoroughly.

Well, an hour or so later Joe gets up to pay for his cigar and Jim and I notice that the front of the chair has a distinctive brown stain running down it almost to the floor. I call to Lou that he didn't do as thorough a job cleaning the chair as he thought and that Joe better check the back of his legs.

All hell breaks loose at this point as Joe is jumping around, thoroughly grossed out and Lou is chasing him with a bottle of Windex to clean him up and clean the chair at the same time. Joe goes so far as standing at the front door and partially removing his shorts, saying he can't wear his pants anymore (thankfully he put them back on, but please note that Joe wears blue jockeys).

Joe attempts to sit on Jim's lap, but Jim is successful in pushing him off, and Joe tries to shake everyone's hand as he's leaving, but no one will touch him at this point. He finally leaves, heading home to bathe and do a load of laundry no doubt.

A short while later Barry C arrives. Jim and I both encourage Barry to have a seat (in the chair) so we can tell him a story. He sits down and gets his cigar lit and we proceed to tell him the story. He looks at all three of us incredulously saying, "You let me sit in shit?!" We assured him that it was cleaned at that point, plus Joe probably got most of it on him. Nevertheless Barry wasn't pleased.

About a half hour later Peter walks in. Barry gets up and get himself one of the stools to sit in complaining that the chair "hurt his back." So Peter gets his cigar and sits in the chair. We proceed to tell him the story and the look on his face was priceless. He was equally as grossed out as every other previous occupant of the chair.

Peter was also eager to yield the chair when Steve B showed up. Musical chairs continued with Peter getting a folding chair from the back, complaining about his back. Steve eagerly took the seat and lit up his cigar. We didn't hesitate telling him the story and after we convinced him we weren't kidding, he reluctantly stayed in the chair, with his legs held out from the front of the chair.

We certainly got a lot of mileage out of that one, and probably would have lured others into the chair but it was toward the end of the day and nobody else came in and stayed.

One other quick funny moment occurred when an attractive young woman came in, looked at Lou, and said, "Hi, I called earlier - I'm here for your nads." Barry and I immediately looked at each other, and then Lou clarified what she meant...she was there to purchase some Nat Sherman cigarettes, "nats" for short.

Congratulations to Peter who is getting married in the Greek Orthodox Church tomorrow to his wife Stacey. They've been married for twenty five years, but it was a civil ceremony, and they are now tying the knot in the church. Congratulations Peter and Stacey!

Congratulations to Lou and Dotty as well who are renewing their vows shortly, but he's not telling anybody when or where, afraid that we'll show up and "crash" the party.

Cheers!
- Bob

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Saturday at the Hut - 8/1/2009

Well, I arrived at The Tobacco Hut this afternoon and before I sat down Lou bawled me out for not writing a blog for last Saturday, and for missing the blog from two weeks ago as well. So, my humble apologies to Lou and all my faithful readers for stumbling a bit lately. I have no excuse, other than being lazy.

Peter G was already at the shop when I arrived and he was depressed that he wasn't going to be there when Barry C arrived as he had some errands to run later in the afternoon. He was anxious to see what sort of venom Barry would be spitting regarding allegations of yet another his beloved Boston Red Sox players using steroids.

Peter and I spent a good amount of time talking about - surprisingly - salads. In particular, a tomato, cucumber, and chick pea salad that Paula had made recently. Peter suggested adding some mozzarella cheese balls to it for some extra zip. We then talked about how Peter needs to get back into the food business. Not necessarily owning a restaurant like he did before, but as a consultant or food critic or at least write a blog about it. If you write a successful enough blog, it will attract advertisers who pay to be on it. (Needless to say, the blog you're reading right now does not fall into that category!).

Peter left and about an hour later Barry arrived. But not just Barry - Barry in a suit! And not some ill-fitting 1980s fashion cast-off. Au contraire! Barry was sporting a very nice tailored suit and tie. And I got to meet his lovely wife for the first time, Lori (with an "i"). They had just come from a wedding and had some time to kill before the reception, so stopped by the Hut. I persuaded Barry to smoke at least a small cigar, which he did. I was very sorry I didn't have my camera with me since it was the first time I've seen Barry dressed up (and probably the last).

As of this writing, Joe K is probably just past the Continental Divide in his cross-country trek with James from Portland, Oregon to Atlanta. We had some good stories from Yukon Joe about his recent Alaskan cruise and hope to hear some equally good road trip stories next Saturday.

Until then - cheers!

- Bob